Stop speaking sense.

GOOD NEWS WEEK, LOL!

Must be hard to be a graffiti artist in prison. Every time they mark off a day of their sentence, another month gets added on.

Take it off, take it off, whoooo!! …  Put it back on!

A man stopped annoying kids outside his house by scaring them with something he played. What was it?
Michael Jackson’s Greatest Hits.

Dude, you have a steering wheel stuck in your pants!
I know, it’s driving me nuts!

Well, I’m excited and I’m wearing a continence pad.

Best way to keep children quiet?
Unfortunately he’s dead.

What you would say if a footy player asked you on a date?
No means no.
I’d like to ask you in but I’ve only got room for twelve people.